Wedding speeches are among the most memorable moments of the reception. They can be emotional, touching, and funny—all in celebration of the happy couple.
There is a traditional order that the speeches go in. But don’t feel as if you need to be bound by this: there’s no rules, only what works best for you and your partner.
Still, to help you decide on your running order, it can help to know how things are typically done. Here’s our guide to wedding speeches.
Contents
Traditional wedding speech order
More modern wedding speeches
When is the best time for wedding speeches?
Do I have to have wedding speeches?
Tips for making your speeches run smoothly
Wedding speech order: traditional
Historically, the most important wedding speeches were the groom and the father of the bride. The best man might then have added a few light-hearted words to follow those up.
But as social norms and values have evolved, most weddings now also include speeches from other key people in the couple’s lives, including the maid of honour, bridesmaids, siblings, mother of the bride, and the bride herself.
Here’s the traditional order of play.
Father of the bride
The bride’s father is normally the first speech. It’s typically heartfelt and emotional, talking about the bride and the woman she has become. Often, there will be some sweet anecdotes that illustrate some of her best qualities as well as some lovely words directed at her new spouse: initial impressions, how they’ve managed to fit into the family, and to thank them for being a great partner.
Some fathers decide to give advice on marriage. We’d advise keeping this relatively light: you don’t want to take attention away from the happy couple.
Groom
Now for the man of the hour: the groom. This speech has typically been a sort of thank-you note to everyone for coming and supporting you as a couple. It’s a way to let your loved ones know how much you appreciate them.
But these days, the speech often also includes anecdotes and some lovely words for his new spouse. It can be as heartfelt as you like: there’s no rules. What matters most is being honest. The day is about the happy couple, so all the groom really needs to do is speak from the heart on what the day, and his partner, mean to him.
Check out our guide to writing a groom’s speech.
Best man
This is the speech that people usually expect to be funny (though if that doesn’t come naturally, there isn’t any pressure to force it). It’s about celebrating the groom but also adding a bit of levity to proceedings, after the first two more emotional speeches.
But it should also be sincere. The best man is there to showcase the groom’s personality and best qualities (plus, optionally, giving some light ribbing) while giving a friend’s perspective on their relationship. The key word here is “light”.
While a bit of humour is great, the best man speech should ideally end on a warm note that celebrates the couple.
More modern wedding speeches
Today’s couples will include more speeches than the above three—which, you may have noticed, were traditionally all delivered by men.
Happily, it’s now standard to have women speaking and to include other key people in the couple’s lives.
It also goes without saying that not everyone has a “traditional” family setup: there may be two grooms, two brides, two spouses, aunts who are more like mothers, or parental figures that aren’t biologically related to you, for example. You should include speeches from people who are the most important to you, in whichever order that makes the most sense.
Maid of honour
A maid of honour speech is pretty much a standard fixture of weddings today. It’s sort of the equivalent to a best man’s speech: honouring the bride, giving the guests an insight into her personality, and offering a friend’s perspective on the couple.
It can be funny if you want it to be—and in our experience, it often is. But again, it’s up to the speaker and what feels right for them.
This speech usually shares lighthearted or personal stories about the bride while ending on a sincere note.
Bride
Traditionally, the bride didn’t give a speech at her own wedding. But today? She absolutely can (and should, if she fancies it). Hitched reports that over one fifth of brides plan to make a speech at their wedding.
She might welcome guests and thank them for coming, as well as expressing what the day means to her. There could also be some anecdotes thrown in about the relationship and her partner.
It’s really up to you. But this is a chance for the bride to express her love and appreciation for everyone in the room.
Friends
And then there’s chosen family: friends. For many couples, friends are some of the most important people in their lives. We’ll toast to that!
Because speeches from friends don’t follow tradition, there’s no real rules or expectations around what they should contain. But they should celebrate their friend and the happy couple, whether that’s through funny stories, touching anecdotes, or both.
Other family members
Aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings can also be extremely important people for the couple. You might have an aunt who feels more like a mum, for instance—or a sibling who happens to be your best friend.
If you want those people to speak at your wedding, then they should speak. It’s really as simple as that.
Other ideas
Plenty of couples adapt the order of speeches to suit their preferences. For example, you might have:
- No speeches at all
- A joint bride and groom speech
- Bride and groom don’t speak
- Mother of the bride, instead of the father
- Other family members instead of parents
Or something else entirely. Do what makes the two of you happiest.
When is the best time for wedding speeches?
Most newlyweds will have their speeches around dinnertime. It makes perfect sense: everyone is sitting down and ready to give their undivided attention, before the evening’s festivities properly kick off.
A popular approach is to have speeches in between courses. This way, the speaker doesn’t have to compete with the sound of cutlery scraping against the plates. Plus, with a plate of hot food in front of them, the guests aren’t giving their complete attention to the speaker.
If you have a lot of speeches to get through, ask the speakers to keep them relatively short and see if you can space out the intervals between courses accordingly.
Some couples decide to have speeches after the food but before the dance floor opens. This is also a good option—though then your guests will sit through them one after another. If the speeches are a little on the longer side, or if there’s a few queued up, it might be easier to have them broken up with the meal.
Do I have to have wedding speeches?
Nope! If you’re having a civil ceremony, the only thing you “have” to do is follow the legal obligations to be married: giving notice to your registry office (you will have already done this at least 29 days before the ceremony), having a legally authorised person perform the ceremony, and signing the marriage schedule in front of two witnesses.
Beyond that, the day is yours to shape as you please. You can absolutely forgo speeches if it’s not something you and your partner want to include.
Tips for making your speeches run smoothly
It’s one thing to decide on the order of speeches—but another for them to go off without a hitch. Here’s some tips to help things run smoothly on the day:
- Think about the flow of speeches. If you know some speakers are going to be more heartfelt, consider following them up with a speech that’s lighter
- Be clear with your speakers. Tell them how long the speeches need to be and if anything is off-limits
- Keep it short and sweet. We’re sure that your loved ones have a million wonderful things to say about you and your person. But the sweet spot for an impactful (and enjoyable!) speech is around 3-8 minutes
- Encourage your speakers to prepare. Off-the-cuff speeches are fun and spontaneous in theory—but in practice, they’re risky. And often, they don’t land as well as speeches that have been thoughtfully prepared
Your wedding venue
Once you’ve pinned down your wedding speech order, picture the venue they’ll be delivered from.
Kindred is a West London wedding venue known for our unique interiors. We’re a Grade II listed building designed with a modern twist: think high ceilings and arched windows, with a gorgeous brightness and warmth.
With various spaces across our building, we’re perfectly equipped to host celebrations of all sizes: from intimate weddings to larger parties.
When it comes to the food: Cellar, our Hammersmith restaurant and bar, will be at your disposal. We’ve also got well-stocked private bars on each floor.
Take a look through our wedding brochure to learn more about weddings at Kindred. You are also most welcome to come as see us in person, to see the space for yourself at no obligation. Simply get in touch with our team to arrange it.
